So long, So long

For the past seven months now I have been with one of the most sweetest most loving girls a guy could ask for. Emilie is such a great person and I love her very much. But the fact of the matter is, is that The things I need and want in a relationship I am starting to see that Emilie isn't fitting into that picture. And also the same goes for what her needs and wants are i don't really fit into that picture either. Because I feel like where God is taking me, He wants me to reach out to others and be there for other people even if it means just something trivial like play xbox with them and have a good discussion or what not, and Emilie doesn't really understand that and she wants my time and she wants to know i care through my actions meaning show her i care with basically my time in which is something that i can't give. I've always been like a free spirit doing my own thing and she is more of the type to want to settle down and so it's been a struggle to come up with the conclusion of ending it because she is a great person and I love her for who she is but I don't see her as the person that I spend the rest of my life with as my partner... And the fact of the matter is is that i don't want to leave her because of everything we've been through and the fact that she is my best friend and I'm afraid to lose that once it's over. and it's even harder because she doesn't understand and is taking it the wrong way... But basically i know in my heart i have to let it go.. so I pretty much feel really crappy and broken right now.. for now I'm just going to keep myself distracted and preoccupied with other things