had to change the name to mAh lifeeee

FOr all you who read this, this is what i mean about being broken. You know living in God's love does make me feel complete and is the greatest feeling but idk i must have a mental retardation that says "oh God makes you super happy, now lets go the other way." does anyone relate with me here? im not a self rightuous idiot like most im not going to hide how i feel or who i am. I mess up im a dick a douch sure call me whatever i don't care... you know i feel like im loving others and like sure i receive love sometimes back but sometimes not and sometimes i want someone to do for me what im doing for others i want someone to just reach out and love me cuz i am dying inside. The craziest thing is that i have a heart to reach out to these broken people and want to love them but yet deep inside Im just the broken kid myself. Will someone love me for me? maybe thats why ive been so girl crazy all my life, cuz i want that love from someone and too just be loved and shown it without having to do anything... and its stupid cuz God gives that love yet me its likeoh go somewhere else or what not. i saw myself getting this way and asked God to break me down.. well this must be it.. Im broken down and i hate my life right now so yeah.. sorry for alll you that got a buzz from the message i gave saturday i really mean those things i said dont doubt that cuz how i feel now.. im only human and i can feel like shit every once in a while to right?? well i just hit rock bottom.. God hope you can do something with that or send someone or something please?..... its like those split personality, one knows how to live in christ and an be fufilled while the other is just a broken piece of crap that goes and messes up galore and gets everyone to hate him. i should draw a picture of that.. well i feel like shiz, have work tomorrow, going to start that drawing.. goodnight america

Pivotal Moments

So yeah recently my life's been running in crazy directions.

Like What I've been doing is really awesome. Been walking with God on Super conductive levels

And yet I feel like there is something I am leaving behind.

Oh Your movements are so sweet and you scent ever so tempting.

Your eyes ever so captivating, I feel like I'm falling for you all over again.

And Yet I'm scared because I don't want my walk to End I don't want to lose My relationship with the Father.

I want to Find a way so we can all walk together and i can bring Him with me to go get you.

And yet i Feel as every time i try and reach you I start running to fast with passion to find you rather than His pace.

I feel like i should slow down and start back tracking to where He is but I feel so close, I can taste your lips again.

But i know what the right thing is to do, so i will try to find the strength to walk a little bit farther away from you,

and Yet your arms are wide open ready to receive me, How much more can your heart take my beloved?

I am sorry but i feel as if we have to wait for it is the right thing or else things will end badly once again

So we shall be patient or I pray you to be patient with me for He knows what's best and I am still figuring things out.

For once I won't be

The Fool who keeps running

While Getting smashed by the Mallet

When we make it to heaven's gates...

Matthew 7: 21-23

"'Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23 Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!''"

I wonder how many of these do we know oh brothers and sisters?

Wrong Body - As Cities Burn

Why Hello there oh sullen world, My name is Jayce. Why do you frown upon those less fortunate than thou or even more fortunate than thee? Why do you judge one another and keep up walls to protect yourselves when all it does is harm you and make you feel you Hollow, Alone, and Incomplete? For it is like this, for anyone to fully and freely receive hey must first fully and freely give themselves. Love onto others as you love onto yourselves, even more than yourselves. For Have you ever noticed oh world, that If you give away and tell all your brokenness, Life story, and yearnings from deep within your heart to a complete stranger that in ten minutes that person went from stranger to one You call brother or sister?? For we as Christians have gone through the wide gate the road taken by everyone else which have given us the names "Hypocrite" and have stained Jesus' purpose, his Teachings, What He came and did for us, His very reputation. But let us take that Narrow gate, let's Freely give away love to everyone due to the Ultimate Love given to us from Him up above. Let's choose to seek God's face. This blog isn't about me it's about our Great God, just some wise words i thought I would pass to you today.

"Grace Make Your Way to the World" - As Cities Burn

hair cut

so i went to fantastic sam's to get a hair cut. i wanted to get a really good hair cut this time so i would feel really good about myself so i brought a photo of phil wickam in with me and said i wanted it like how it was in the picture. I really didn't think they would do a good job but it come out really good i Love it actually so yeah pretty stoked about that.

How to cope with the loss of your Love prt 1

So today is officially the third day of being single.. yeah and so far basically I am just ignoring all the pain. Haven't really gone back to thinking about her because it still hurts so much. Have been filling my time with spending time with friends and yeah last night zane slept over which was cool. But I feel like doing all these things aren't helping they are only making it worse. I feel like I am turning to worldly things to fill the gap rather than God. I am totally off from my walk with Jesus and I feel like i need and want to start heading towards him again and want to totally give my life to him... so yeah this one's hopefully to keep me on accountability....

My heart just broke into a million pieces...

So long, So long

For the past seven months now I have been with one of the most sweetest most loving girls a guy could ask for. Emilie is such a great person and I love her very much. But the fact of the matter is, is that The things I need and want in a relationship I am starting to see that Emilie isn't fitting into that picture. And also the same goes for what her needs and wants are i don't really fit into that picture either. Because I feel like where God is taking me, He wants me to reach out to others and be there for other people even if it means just something trivial like play xbox with them and have a good discussion or what not, and Emilie doesn't really understand that and she wants my time and she wants to know i care through my actions meaning show her i care with basically my time in which is something that i can't give. I've always been like a free spirit doing my own thing and she is more of the type to want to settle down and so it's been a struggle to come up with the conclusion of ending it because she is a great person and I love her for who she is but I don't see her as the person that I spend the rest of my life with as my partner... And the fact of the matter is is that i don't want to leave her because of everything we've been through and the fact that she is my best friend and I'm afraid to lose that once it's over. and it's even harder because she doesn't understand and is taking it the wrong way... But basically i know in my heart i have to let it go.. so I pretty much feel really crappy and broken right now.. for now I'm just going to keep myself distracted and preoccupied with other things